The "where do you want those window blinds installed'' story in las Vegas Nevada.
The "where do you want that installed?" question takes on a whole new meaning in a city built on impulse decisions and themed architecture.
Here is a funny story about the most bizarre installation requests a Las Vegas blinds company might receive. blinds Las Vegas goes nuts.
Title: The "You Want it Where?" Files: Tales from a Las Vegas Blinds Installer
Look, if you install window treatments in, say, Ohio, your day is pretty predictable. You’re drilling into drywall, maybe some brick veneer. You’re dealing with bay windows and French doors.
But this is Las Vegas. We don't do "predictable." blinds Las Vegas
Our installation team has seen things that would make an OSHA inspector weep. When you combine 115-degree heat, excessive disposable income, and the general "anything goes" vibe of the valley, people stop looking at window blinds as window coverings and start looking at them as solutions to very weird problems. window blinds Las Vegas style at it's best.
Here are just a few pages from our installation logbook that prove Vegas homeowners are operating on a different wavelength.
Case File #1: The Grotto Crisis
We got a call from a very agitated gentleman living in a massive mini-mansion up in Summerlin. He said he had an emergency "sun intrusion situation" near his pool.
Our lead installer, Ilan, arrived at the property. The backyard looked like a discount Pirate's of the Caribbean set. There was a massive, faux-rock waterfall grotto complete with a slide.
"The problem," the homeowner explained, gesturing wildly with a mimosa, "Is that between 3:00 PM and 4:15 PM, the sun shoots right through that gap in the fake rocks and hits my high-end margarita machine. It’s melting the ice faster than it can blend! It’s a disaster!" To us this was not any kind of a window blinds emergency. blinds Las vegas
The Request: He wanted Ilan our Las Vegas blinds expert to mount a motorized, remote-controlled solar shade... directly onto the fake, hollow fiberglass boulders of the waterfall.
The Result: Ilan spent three hours trying to find a stud in a fake rock. He eventually had to use specialized anchors meant for drywall, praying the whole "cave" wouldn't collapse when the motor torqued. Now, with the click of a button, a beige rectangle descends from a plastic cliff face to protect the tequila. All I can say is '' Ilan is a true blinds Las Vegas king installer with lots of patience for his customers''. But that's why our Las Vegas window blinds clientele loves us, so great!''.
Case File #2: The Henderson "Hen House" Casino
We received an order for six high-end, top-down bottom-up cellular shades. Very nice stuff. The address was a standard suburban home in Henderson Nevada. blinds Las Vegas
When we arrived, the homeowner led us straight through the beautiful house and into the backyard. There stood a chicken coop. But this wasn't a normal coop. It was air-conditioned. It had mood lighting.
"Okay," the guy whispered, looking nervously over the fence at his neighbor's yard. "The HOA thinks this is just for my prize-winning Silkies. But Tuesday nights are poker nights." blinds Las Vegas
He opened the coop door. Inside, past three confused-looking chickens, was a mini-fridge, a felt card table, and a small flatscreen TV showing sports odds.
The Request: He needed the cellular shades installed over the chicken wire mesh.
The Result: "I need total privacy," he insisted. "If old lady Higgins next door sees me splitting aces in here, she'll call the board." We installed $2,000 worth of premium blinds onto a structure that smelled distinctly of poultry. The chickens seemed indifferent to the upgrade in decor. blinds Las Vegas
Case File #3: The Mobile Sin Bin window blinds Las Vegas
Sometimes the installation request isn't even attached to real estate.
A guy rolled up to our warehouse loading dock in a 1998 Ford Econoline conversion van that looked like it had survived Burning Man five times. The windows were already tinted impossibly dark, but apparently, it wasn't enough.
"I run a niche tour service," the driver said. (We didn't ask what the niche was. In Vegas, you don't ask.) "When we're cruising the Strip, the neon lights get in. It's ruining the ambiance in the back.". Yeah, blinds Las Vegas customer service is a little strange ''I know''.
The Request: He wanted aluminum mini-blinds installed on the inside of the van windows.
The Result: Our installer tried to explain that the curvature of automotive glass makes mounting flat window blinds nearly impossible. The guy handed him a wad of cash and said, "Make it work." An hour later, the van drove off with rattling aluminum blinds held in place by self-tapping screws drilled directly into the vehicle's frame. It looked great for some reason. He loved it.
Case File #4: The Elvis Altar blinds Las Vegas
A small, off-strip wedding chapel called us in a panic. They had a beautiful, circular stained-glass window behind their altar.
"It's a disaster," the chapel owner cried over the phone. "The afternoon sun hits that window like a laser beam. Yesterday, it blinded a groom right as he was saying 'I do,' and he fell off the dais and knocked over a cardboard cutout of Marilyn Monroe. We're getting sued!"
The Request: They needed a blackout shade specifically cut into a perfect 4-foot diameter circle to cover the stained glass. blinds Las Vegas job that's not easy!
The Result: Do you know how hard it is to make a circular functional blind? We basically had to jury-rig a square shade behind a circular drywall cutout. We installed it while an Elvis impersonator practiced "Hound Dog" five feet away. The motor was loud, so now every wedding ceremony ends with the mechanical WHIRRRR-CLUNK of the sun being blocked out.
It just goes to show, when you work in this town, you have to be prepared for anything. Sure, we prefer installing blinds in Las Vegas on actual house windows. But if you need to block the sun from melting your margarita machine inside a fake rock cave?
Yeah, we’ll give it a shot. Welcome to Vegas....
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